Love, Life and everything in between

you're in-love w/ a human being

2010-01-27T22:19:00.000-08:00

A few years back...I was so excited to meet that special someone who will make my life complete. I thought I had it all na kasi except for that someone who will make me forget about my fears and heartaches.

Many times...I thought nakilala ko na siya...but many times I realized that hindi pala siya. I don't know kung hindi talaga siya para sa akin or ako lang yung may problema...dahil i just can't get contented with what I have. Masaya lang kasi sa una...then after that, sunod sunod na ang away, kung wala namang away, wala namang thrill. And I end up getting tired of hoping that tomorrow will make up for today...Finally, I decided that maybe its better to try my luck elsewhere, maybe, someone else's love will make me feel complete.Every woman wants a man who will make her feel special...and treat her like she's everything in his life... He's always busy...he doesn't have time for me. He promised to take me out for dinner and movie and then biglang tatawag "B, sorry I can't take you out today, my boss asked me to work tonight, may hinahabol kasing deadline. Nakakahiya naman pag hindi ko pagbibigyan. Hayaan mo I'll make it up to you next time." And it happens all the time. I often end up spending the day crying in my room. "Bakit gan'un, he doesn't care about me...I was looking forward to see him today. Hindi ba niya ako namimiss?" Kaya heto ako...I've made up my mind na...I'll give him what he wants...he probably won't miss me anyway. I'm always last sa lahat ng priorities niya. Im not important to him at all. If he can't treat me right, somebody else will!

Mahimbing ang tulog niya...when he came home. D man lng niya ako napansin.
He gave me a kiss sa cheek and ginulo ang buhok ko...after that dumeretso nasa kuarto at natulog. I won't wake him up anymore...susulat na lng ako...at parang isang panaginip...pagising niya wala na ako.

Dear Jake,
While you're reading this letter, wala na ako...you probably won't see me again. I won't tell you the details anymore coz alam mo na yun. but i guess you deserve to know why...Lately, I realized that this is not the kind of life that I want for myself..you know that I've been lonely most of my life and I want to share my life with someone who won't take me for granted, who will make me happy every second of my life. Forgive me but I guess, hanggang dito na lng tayo. I just want you to know that I love you and I want you to be happy too.
Maan

With tears in my eyes, I left the letter beside him para makita niya paggising niya. And then I looked at him. Ang guapo guapo niya...napangiti ako...naaalala ko nung una ko siyang makilala. I met this guy sa school nung college. Ang daming nagkakagusto sa kanya but I don't know what he saw in me at ako ang niligawan niya kahit inaaway ko siya. I was scared of him before, para kasing playboy ang mukha...I was broken hearted at that time and getting hurt again was the last thing I wanted. But then he was persistent and he was really nice to me. At first, our relationship was extraordinary. wala akong masabi.
Nobody has ever treated me like that...kaya lang as time went by...we both got busy and despite the fact that we both lived under one roof, we seldom spent time with each other. He buys me anything I want but I dont really need anything...I just need him. But i guess, he changed a lot since the first time we were together, siguro he fell out of love and he just can't tell me...Ba't kasi kailangan pang magbago ang lahat....kaya heto na naman ako, muling mag iisa.I didn't realize, I was staring at him for 3 hours.
Gumalaw siya and something fell off his hand---ballpen?! and then I saw a piece of paper sa tabi niya.. I was curious kaya binasa ko and it goes like this...

Dear Maan,
For all the times that I have disappointed you, I'm really sorry. I know I've been out of your sight often and that I always make you feel bad. Im really sorry.
I want you to know that even though wala ako sa tabi mo...I'm always thinking about you. You are the reason why I work hard. I want to give you everything in life because you deserve everything and I want you to be happy. Kaya forgive me kung hindi tayo natuloy last week. I had to work double time para matuloy tayo ngayon. I know that you've always wanted to go south sa beach. I can't afford a house by the beach right now but I hope that I've made you happy today. I love you baby. I love you more than you'll ever know. Happy Valentines Day!
With lots of love,
Jake

What if hindi ko nakita ang letter na to? I could have committed the greatest mistake of my life, letting go of someone who loves me the way this man does. I will never forgive myself for thinking that he was unfair, that he doesn't care, that he doesn't love me. I couldn't help myself but cry.
All the while, I was the one being unfair and selfish and I feel so stupid for failing to see what this man is doing for me. Valentines na pala next week. I havent got anything for him yet...ahh alam ko na, from now on, hindi na ako mangungulit. I can wake up tomorrow and pretend that nothing happened tonight. I placed his letter back under his pillow and I tore mine into pieces. Tapos, niyakap ko siya ng mahigpit. I love you, b. I whispered. He wrapped his arms around me at ginulo ang buhok ko (gulat ako) I love you more he told me. And he laughed. He was watching me all the time?! O, tapos naba ang drama mo? Kanina pa kita hinihintay. And he turned off the lights.

:)
Kaya babae, makontento ka, okay? You're in love with a human being and not with superman!!!

********************************************
thank's to Jacqueline Yap for sharing this.. ^_^

ClanRogueWolf's Portrait

2009-12-10T04:36:00.001-08:00

Our RF online guild portrait.. made by our very own guildmate.. Bellatres (Jan Peter Arceo)

Together by Ne-Yo

2009-10-18T20:45:00.000-07:00

Together - Neyo

[Verse 1]

Since the day that we met girl

I've never had anyone make me feel this way

And my heart is sure it wants to be with you

Wanna give you the whole world... ohh

If you make the promise to me, I'm gonna stay

Without you guiding me, I'm lost and so confused

[Hook]

What will it take to show you I'll be by your side

Cause I got you and I want to give you what you never had

Girl everyday I hope to make you a part of my life

Cause you know me and I know you

Girl your love is where it's at... ohhh

[Chorus]

I'm gonna be the love that's gonna last

And be the one that got your back

Ain't nothing never that bad that we would be together

And though we both made our mistakes

And some we never wish we made

But we'll be okay if we just stay together

[Verse 2]

Oooh... I know he left you stranded

And you paid the price when you messed up your life

Girl I know you're so afraid but I can't write the wrongs he did

I know you saw the lipstick on my window

And wonder how many chicks been to my home

I done my share of playing games

But for you I given up that life

[Hook]

What will it take to show you I'll be by your side

Girl I got you and I want to give you what you never had

Girl everyday I hope to make you a part of my life

Cause you know me and I know you

Girl your love is where it's at... ohhh

[Chorus]

I'm gonna be the love that's gonna last

And be the one that got your back

Ain't nothing never that bad that we would be together

And though we both made our mistakes

And some we never wish we made

But we'll be okay if we just stay together

[Verse 3]

Baby you're the one I'm waiting for

Because you give me what I need and more

Cause it's clear that we are meant to be

Together... together... we should be together

Eternally... Ooohh

And I'm gonna be...

(Chorus) x2

**I want to thank "YOU" for sharing this song to me.. ;)

Nothing by FDM

2009-10-18T20:15:00.000-07:00

i'll take the sun and have it placed on the band of a ring

and put it on your left hand

walk around with you, proud to tell the world i'm your man

shout it from every mountain, if you say i can

girl, what you want?

if i got anything to say about it

that's what you get

girl, what you need?

don't ever hesitate to tell me so

baby girl, you're supposed to know

that nothing is ever too much

you want the world,

but to me, it's not even enough

i would give you the heavens in exchange for your love

baby, just know that nothing is ever too much for you girl

nothing is ever too much for you, girl

tell me you want the stars to light up the sky

make the call

girl, it's no problem at all

make them change colors, then whenever you like

make them fall

no one is ever too tall

girl, what you want?

if i got anything to say about it

that's what you get

girl, what you need?

don't ever hesitate to tell me so

baby girl, you're supposed to know

that nothing is ever too much

you want the world,

but to me it's not even enough

i would give yout he heavens in exchange for your love

baby just know that nothing is ever too much for you girl

make a command

girl, clap your hands

and you will see that i'm for real

tell me your dreams

leave it to me

girl, what you want, you will receive

2-Way Mirror..

2009-08-08T22:17:00.000-07:00

Can you tell when you are in a hotel room, restroom, motel etc. with a mirror whether it is in fact a mirror or 2-way glass?

Here's how:

I thought it was quite interesting! And I know in about 30 seconds you're going to do what I did and find the nearest mirror... Do you know how to determine if a mirror is 2-way or not? This is not to scare you, but to make you aware. A policewoman who travels all over the U.S. and gives seminars and techniques for businesswomen passed this on. When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., how many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror (i.e., they can see you, but you can't see them)? There have been many cases of people installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms. It is very difficult to positively identify the surface by just looking at it.

So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type of mirror we are looking at? Just conduct this simple test: Place the tip of your fingernail against the reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the image of the nail, then it is a GENUINE mirror. However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then BEWARE, FOR IT IS A 2-WAY MIRROR!

"No Space, Leave the Place" So remember, every time you see a Mirror, do the "fingernail test." It doesn't cost you anything.

Remember: "No Space, Leave the Place"

Ladies: Share this with your girlfriends, sisters, daughters, etc.
Men: Share this with your wives, daughters, daughters-in- law, mothers, girlfriends and friends.

New Interest.. lol

2009-08-06T19:50:00.000-07:00

Just recently.. haven't done anything productive.. so I decided to view some make-up tutorials on YouTube... and found a new interest.. make-ups.. hahaha.. i don't usually wear any make-up.. only on special occassions.. for my everyday look, it's usually Loreal mineral foundation, lip liner and lip gloss.. that's all.. *lol*

Anyway.. after i've watched some videos.. I've decided it's time for me to learn some tricks and atleast enhance my beauty.. hahaha.. yes i know.. i am not pretty.. but atleast.. i'm trying to atleast enhance my beauty and make myself presentable.. *lol*

So i did some research.. and found this brush set..and i really really want this.. so i asked my sister to buy this one for me.. well I hope she'll buy this haha..

Handog ng Pilipino sa Mundo

2009-08-05T07:21:00.000-07:00

Handog Ng Pilipino Sa Mundo - Various Artist

by Apo Hiking Society

'Di na 'ko papayag mawala ka muli.
'Di na 'ko papayag na muli mabawi,
Ating kalayaan kay tagal natin mithi.
'Di na papayagang mabawi muli.

Magkakapit-bisig libo-libong tao.
Kay sarap palang maging Pilipino.
Sama-sama iisa ang adhikain.
Kelan man 'di na paalipin.

Ref:
Handog ng Pilipino sa mundo,
Mapayapang paraang pagbabago.
Katotohanan, kalayaan, katarungan
Ay kayang makamit na walang dahas.
Basta't magkaisa tayong lahat.

Masdan ang nagaganap sa aming bayan.
Nagkasama ng mahirap at mayaman.
Kapit-bisig madre, pari, at sundalo.
Naging Langit itong bahagi ng mundo.

Huwag muling payagang umiral ang dilim.
Tinig ng bawat tao'y bigyan ng pansin.
Magkakapatid lahat sa Panginoon.
Ito'y lagi nating tatandaan.
(repeat refrain two times)

Coda:
Mapayapang paraang pagbabago.
Katotohanan, kalayaan, katarungan.
Ay kayang makamit na walang dahas.
Basta't magkaisa tayong lahat!

For "Tita Cory"..

2009-08-04T10:03:00.000-07:00

We the Filipino people love you so much... may your soul rest in peace...

The Worst Way to Miss Someone

2009-07-19T21:26:00.000-07:00

There was once this guy who is very

much in love with his girl...

This ROMANTIC GUY folded 1,000 pieces

of paper cranes

as a gift to his girl...

Although, at that time he was just a

small fry in his company,

his future doesn't seemed too bright,

they were very happy together...

Until one day,

his girl told him she was going to

Paris and will never come back.

She also told him that

she couldn't visualize

any future for the both of them,

so they went their own ways there and

then...

Heartbroken, the guy agreed.

But when he regains his confidence,

he worked hard day and night,

slogging his body and mind

just to make something out of him....

Finally with all these hard work and

the help of friends,

this guy had set up his own company!

You never fail until you stop trying.

One rainy day,

while this guy was driving,

he saw an elderly couple sharing an

umbrella the rain walking to some

destination.

Even with the umbrella,

they were still drenched.

It didn't take him long to realize

those were his girl's parents...

With a heart in getting back at them,

he drove slowly beside the couple,

wanting them to spot him in his luxury

sedan...

He wanted them to know that he wasn't

the same anymore;

he had his own company, car, condo,

etc.

He made it!

Before the guy can realize,

the couple was walking towards a

cemetery,

and he got out of his car and

followed...

and he saw his girl,

a photograph of her smiling sweetly as

ever at him from her tombstone

and he saw his paper cranes beside

her...

Her parents saw him.

He asks them why had this happened.

They explained,

she did not leave for France at all...

She was ill with cancer...

She had believed that he will make it

someday,

but she did not want to be his

obstacle!!...

therefore she had chosen to leave him.

Just because someone doesn't love you

the way you want them to,

doesn't mean they don't love you with

all they have.

She had wanted her parents to put his

paper cranes beside her,

because, if the day comes when fate

brings him to her again...

he can take some of those back with

him..

Once you have loved,

you will always love...

For what's in your mind may escape

but what's in your heart will remain

forever...

The guy just wept...

The worst way to miss someone

is to be sitting right beside them

knowing you can't have them.....

hope you would understand...

Find time to realize

that there is one person

who means so much to you,

for you might wake up one morning

losing that person

whom you thought meant nothing to

you...

***************************************************************

Got this story from a friend who posted in friendster.. very touching...

Am I a Fireman Yet?

2009-07-18T10:38:00.000-07:00

In Phoenix , Arizona , a 26-year-old mother stared down

at her 6 year old son, who was dying of terminal leukemia.

Although her heart was filled with sadness,

she also had a strong feeling of determination.
Like any parent, she wanted her son to grow up &
fulfill all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible..

The leukemia would see to that. But she still
wanted her son's dream to come true.

She took her son' s hand and asked,
'Billy, did you ever think about what you wanted
to be once you grew up?
Did you ever dream and wish what you would
do with your life?'

Mommy, 'I always wanted to be a fireman
when I grew up.'

Mom smiled back and said, 'Let's see if we can
make your wish come true.'

Later that day she went to her local fire
Department in Phoenix , A rizona , where she met
Fireman Bob, who had! a heart as big as Phoenix

She explained her son's final wish and
Asked if it might be possible
to give her 6 year-old son a ride around the block on a fire engine

Fireman Bob said, 'Look, we can do
better than that. If you'll have your son ready at
seven o'clock Wednesday morning, we'll make
him an honorary Fireman for the whole day.
He can come down to the fire station, eat with us,
go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards!

And if you'll give us his sizes, we'll get a real fire uniform
for him, with a real fire hat - not a toy -- one-with the emblem of the Phoenix Fire Department on it, a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots.'

'They're all manufactured right here in Phoenix ,
so we can get them fast.'

Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy,
dressed him in his uniform and escorted him from his hospital bed t o the waiting hook and ladder truck.

Billy got to sit on the back of the truck
and help steer it back to the fire station.
He was in heaven.

There were three fire calls in Phoenix that day
and Billy got to go out on all three calls.

He rode in the different fire engines,
the Paramedic's' van,
and even the fire chief's car.

He was also videotaped for the
local news program.

Having his dream come true,
with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Billy, that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought possible.

One night all of his vital signs began to
drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed
in the hospice concept - that no one should die alone, began to call the family members to the hospital.

Then she remembered the day Billy had spent
as a Fireman, so she called the Fire Chief and
asked if it would be possible to send a fireman
in uniform to the hospital to be with Billy as he made his transition.

The chief replied, 'We can do better than that.
We'll be there in five minutes.. Will you please do me a favor?

When you hear the sirens screaming and see the
lights flashing, will you announce over the
PA system that there is not a fire?'

'It's the department coming to see one of its finest members one more time. And will
you open the window to his room?'

About five minutes later a
hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital and extended its ladder up to Billy's third floor open window--------
16 fire-fighters climbed up the ladder into Billy's room

With his mother's permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they LOVED him.

With
His dying breath,
Billy looked up at the fire chief and said,

'Chief, am I really a fireman now?'

'Billy, you are, and
The Head Chief,
Jesus, is holding your hand,' the chief said

With those words, Billy smiled and said,
'I know, He's
Been holding my hand all day, and
The angels have been
Singing..'

He closed his eyes one last time.

Continue to uplift one another~

@paolo: ayan.. para maiyak ka ulit.. LOL.. =p

********************************************************

I got this email from a friend.. hope you guys like it.. ^_^x

UNCONDITIONAL

2009-07-17T06:51:00.000-07:00

This is something we can learn the meaning of “UNCONDITIONAL” act of emotion, care and love to others.

This is a true story that happened in Japan .

In order to renovate a house, a Japanese man breaks open the wall. Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls. When tearing down the walls, he finds a lizard stuck there with a nail hammered to its foot. He sees this, feels pity, and at the same time curious, as when he checks the nail, he sees it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built!

The lizard has survived in this position for 10 years; in a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving! He wonders how it has survived. So he stops working and observes the lizard - what it does, and what and how it has been eating.

Soon enough, another lizard appears out of the wood work, with food in its mouth!

The lizard stuck to the wall by the nail is fed by the other lizard.

Imagine that? This lizard has been serving its fellow creature tirelessly for 10 long years without giving up hope!

The man is both stunned and deeply touched. He walks towards the wall, gently un-nails the lizard, and walks away with tears in his eyes.

Think, would you do that for your partner? Would you do that for your Mum, your Dad, friends, co-workers, brothers and sisters? Never giving up on them even when all hope is lost and all support futile? Never giving up on them even if they were no longer productive or beneficial to you? Could it be that his fellow creature's unconditional act was what was keeping the lizard alive even in this treacherous condition? Imagine the compassion that a small creature not blessed with a mind as brilliant as yours or mine is capable of! If this little lizard can do it, then why can't we?

Moral of the story: Steadfast devotion and unconditional love creates miracles. And you can learn valuable lessons from all creatures great and small!

· Never abandon your loved ones or any one who reaches out for your support.

· Never say you are busy when you can sense they really need you.

· You may have the entire world at your feet. But you may be the only one they turn to.

· One callous, insensitive moment of negligence could break a heart and spirit.

· And the same moment turned into attention and affection could save a life!

If you were touched by this story, share it with others to let them know you're there for them...

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON? ♥

2009-07-16T01:46:00.000-07:00

*got this email from my Sister just wanted to share this with you.. enjoy! ^_^

This is a very good article. Those who are still single may learn something from here...
Those who are already married or in a commitment may take it as a guideline to improve your marriage & relationship ...

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question. She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"
I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said, "It depends. Is that your husband?"
In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it's weighing on your mind.

Here's the answer.
EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse/partner. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies (unconventional behavior/habit) .

Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience.
You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in love... Because it's happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the imagery of that __expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria (excitement) of love fades. It's the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry the right person?"
And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else.
This is when marriages or relationship breakdown. People blame their spouse/partner for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage/relationship for fulfillment.

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.. Infidelity is the most obvious.
But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, excessive TV, or abusive substances..

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it.
I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else.
You could.

And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP IS NOT FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it day in and day out. That's why we have the __expression "the labor of love." Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM.. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage/relationship work. Sure true love can only happen after you've fallen out of love. When you begin choosing to love, even if you don't feel like doing it ---- that's true love. And that's the foundation of a lasting and strong marriage.

Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships.
Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger.
It's a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable. ... you can "make"love.

Love is indeed a "decision".. . Not just a feeling. You'll not just go away with your relationship just because the feeling is gone. In the Bible, love is a command. You make it happen..

Remember this always:

"God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go."

When the Soul Chandra and Sentinel met the Clan of the Rogue Wolves

2009-07-14T07:03:00.001-07:00

July 7, 2009 - Pier One, Mall of Asia

The Sentinel "Edgewater" with Lerik, ironmantgp, Bellatress and WolfDragoon

The Soul Chandra "Lady Midori" with the lone ranger Euann

The Clan of the Rogue Wolves

Angel (from Nexus), Northlight, Edgewater, Euann, Lady Midori, NiGhTBoX (Mistah),

JeanLuc, Lerik, ironmantgp, mami pinka, Bellatress and WolfDragoon

The Soul Chandra and Sentinel with the CRW's hottest chick saidie,

uber-kunat tanker Bellatress and manong Northlight

PL buddies: Bellatress, LadyMidori and saidie ^_^

it feels so great to finally meet them.. though i regretted goin' home early because we haven't met our Guild Leader Cipheron.. but I hope next time.. we'll meet more members of the Clan..

i want to take this opportunity to thank you guys.. for sparing time in meeting with us.. even though the weather didn't cooperate well.. thank you to JeanLuc, WolfDragoon, Bellatress and mami pinka.. and special thanks to saidie for keeping me company while I await my flight back to zamboanga.. thank you guys.. it's really great meeting you.. we love you.. *hugs*

--Edgewater & LadyMidori

Two funny videos I've watched today..

2009-07-13T04:44:00.000-07:00

two freakin' hilarious videos.. rofl..

I miss you..

2009-07-12T09:03:00.000-07:00

i've got nothing to say.. except..

i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you.. i miss you so much..

i don't know how long can i hold on to this..

but please remember that i love you.. i love you more than anything else..

you mean everything to me..

i hope to see you.. the soonest possible time..

please take good care always..

i love you..

goodbye..

FAMILY

2009-07-12T01:48:00.000-07:00

I ran into a stranger as he passed by,

"Oh excuse me please" was my reply.

He said, "Please excuse me too;

I wasn't watching for you."

We were very polite, this stranger and I.

We went on our way and we said goodbye.

But at home a different story is told,

How we treat our loved ones, young and old.

Later that day, cooking the evening meal,

My son stood beside me very still.

When I turned, I nearly knocked him down.

"Move out of the way," I said with a frown.

He walked away, his little heart broken.

I didn't realize how harshly I'd spoken.

While I lay awake in bed,

God's still small voice came to me and said,

"While dealing with a stranger,

common courtesy you use,

but the family you love, you seem to abuse.

Go and look on the kitchen floor,

You'll find some flowers there by the door.

Those are the flowers he brought for you.

He picked them himself: pink, yellow and blue.

He stood very quietly not to spoil the surprise,

you never saw the tears that filled his little eyes."

By this time, I felt very small,

And now my tears began to fall.

I quietly went and knelt by his bed;

"Wake up, little one, wake up," I said.

"Are these the flowers you picked for me?"

He smiled, "I found 'em, out by the tree.

I picked 'em because they're pretty like you.

I knew you'd like 'em, especially the blue."

I said, "Son, I'm very sorry for the way I acted

today;

I shouldn't have yelled at you that way."

He said, "Oh, Mom, that's okay.

I love you anyway."

I said, "Son, I love you too,

and I do like the flowers, especially the blue."

FAMILY

Are you aware that if we died tomorrow, the company

that we are working for could easily replace us in

a matter of days.

But the family we left behind will feel the loss

for the rest of their lives.

And come to think of it, we pour ourselves more

into work than in to our own family,

an unwise investment indeed,

don't you think?

So what is behind the story?

###########################################

got this email from a friend.. :)

200 Thousand Words

2009-07-11T04:19:00.000-07:00

This is a true story, taken from "Family".

Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our original intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, everything became too late.

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.

I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant some greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Let’s go fetch mother." Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to rest on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat the flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people’s habit; slowly you will get use to it."

Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever I came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."
There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle. Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.

As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and is exhausted from a long day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes.

From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and that resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash they again.
One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoiled child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me. I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl how unclean it is, right?"

After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please.

In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.

That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table.
The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I couldn't. I threw down the bowl and rushed into the washroom and vomited everything out. Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really didn't mean it.

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs. For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at the low point in my life.

Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor."

The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant. Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day?

At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart.

I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me round in circles of joy. What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down. Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight? Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket.

That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money. I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good. What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again.

The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital." I stood there in shock. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless.

I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen? Throughout the funeral, hubby did say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her.

I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if... In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.

Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead not in his heart.

One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything.

The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me, challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.

That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other. He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff.

I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination. My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not. I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death.

One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it.

In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine. As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry..." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there.

After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pull the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him.

"LD, you are pregnant?"

Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me. I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but it’s ok, you can leave now." He did not go, in the dark, we sat, facing each other.

Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket. In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach him. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me, I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't.

In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it’s unintentional; for him, totally intentional.

I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated. Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him.

From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart.

Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time; I cared for him and am concerned because there is love, but now, what is there between us?

Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing all the way till baby was born.
Almost every day, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions.
He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing, but none of that matters to me anymore.

It was sometime towards the end of spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, it’s like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brown, throughout the journey to the hospital. Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?

He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain. Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, his eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand.

Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor. I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.

Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when did he first discover he had cancer.

Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral." I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me.

Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:

"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion.

Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through your life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most..."

From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me:

"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby. My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me. These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging."

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms."

He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face...

The end

**********************************************************************
just want to share this story to all of you.. hope you like it..

A story of a Father's love, and an unfathomable circumstance and choice.

2009-07-10T20:39:00.001-07:00

A story of a Father's love, and an unfathomable circumstance and choice.

It's a MUST watch video.

Shared via AddThis

Wedding Day!! <3

2009-07-10T02:09:00.000-07:00

Marriage is a union between two persons, who lived in harmony so absolute with each other, as to be independent of the world outside.

June 27, 2009 ... the feeling was so great.. the feeling of excitement and joy.. i am excited because finally after 5 long years.. i will marry the man i've loved and the man i've ever wanted...

It is our wedding day.. Edgewater <3 LadyMidori ^_^

"cause you're all I want.. you're all I need.. you're everything.. everything.."

Scoliosis

2009-02-15T07:03:00.000-08:00

What is scoliosis?

Scoliosis is a disorder that causes an abnormal curve of the spine, or backbone. The spine has normal curves when looking from the side, but it should appear straight when looking from the front. Kyphosis is a curve seen from the side in which the spine is bent forward. Lordosis is a curve seen from the side in which the spine is bent backward. People with scoliosis develop additional curves to either side, and the bones of the spine twist on each other like a corkscrew.

Scoliosis is about two times more common in girls than boys. It can be seen at any age, but it is most common in those over 10 years old. Scoliosis is hereditary in that people with scoliosis are more likely to have children with scoliosis; however, there is no correlation between the severity of the curve from one generation to the next.

What causes scoliosis?

In most cases, the cause of scoliosis is unknown (idiopathic). This type of scoliosis is described based on the age when scoliosis develops. If the person is less than 3 years old, it is called infantile idiopathic scoliosis. Scoliosis that develops between 3 and 10 years of age is called juvenile idiopathic scoliosis, and people that are over 10 years old have adolescent idiopathic scoliosis.

There are three other main types of scoliosis:

Functional: In this type of scoliosis, the spine is normal, but an abnormal curve develops because of a problem somewhere else in the body. This could be caused by one leg being shorter than the other or by muscle spasms in the back.

Neuromuscular: In this type of scoliosis, there is a problem when the bones of the spine are formed. Either the bones of the spine fail to form completely, or they fail to separate from each other. This type of scoliosis develops in people with other disorders including birth defects, muscular dystrophy, cerebral palsy, or Marfan's disease. If the curve is present at birth, it is called congenital. This type of scoliosis is often much more severe and needs more aggressive treatment than other forms of scoliosis.

Degenerative: Unlike the other forms of scoliosis that are found in children and teens, degenerative scoliosis occurs in older adults. It is caused by changes in the spine due to arthritis. Weakening of the normal ligaments and other soft tissues of the spine combined with abnormal bone spurs can lead to an abnormal curvature of the spine.

Others: There are other potential causes of scoliosis, including spine tumors such as osteoid osteoma. This is a benign tumor that can occur in the spine and cause pain. The pain causes people to lean to the opposite side to reduce he amount of pressure applied to the tumor. This can lead to a spinal deformity.

What are the symptoms of scoliosis?

The most common symptom of scoliosis is an abnormal curve of the spine. Often this is a mild change and may be first noticed by a friend or family member. It can also be found on a routine school screening examination for scoliosis. Those affected may notice that their clothes do not fit as they did previously or that pant legs are longer on one side that the other.

Scoliosis may cause the head to appear off center or one hip or shoulder to be higher than the opposite side. If the scoliosis is more severe, it can make it more difficult for the heart and lungs to work properly. This can cause shortness of breath and chest pain.

In most cases, scoliosis is not painful, but there are certain types of scoliosis than can cause back pain. Additionally, there are other causes of back pain, which your doctor will want to look for as well.

How is scoliosis diagnosed?

If you think you have scoliosis, you can see your doctor for an examination. The doctor will ask questions, including if there is any family history of scoliosis, or if you have had any pain, weakness, or other medical problems.

The physical examination involves looking at the curve of the spine from the sides, front, and back. The person will be asked to undress from the waist up to better see any abnormal curves. The person will then bend over trying to touch their toes. The doctor will also look at the symmetry of the body to see if the hips and shoulders are at the same height. Any skin changes will also be identified that can suggest scoliosis due to a birth defect.

The more growth that a person has remaining increases the chances of scoliosis getting worse. As a result, the doctor may measure the person's height and weight for comparison with future visits. Other clues to the amount of growth remaining are signs of puberty such as the presence of breasts or pubic hair and whether menstrual periods have begun in girls.

If the doctor believes you have scoliosis, you could either be asked to return for an additional examination in several months to see if there is any change, or the doctor may obtain X-rays of your back. If X-rays are obtained, the doctor can make measurements from them to determine how large of a curve is present. This can help decide what treatment, if any, is necessary. Measurements from future visits can be compared to see if the curve is getting worse.

Source: Jason C. Eck, DO, MS

5 Secrets to Staying in Love

2009-02-15T01:45:00.000-08:00

Just about everyone wants to know how they can make their relationship better. They want to know how they can deepen the commitment and love between each partner. Unfortunately relationships are not something you can provide a "to do" sheet for and all will be solved, but with these five key secrets you can certainly improve your chances for getting all you desire out of your relationship.

Do things unexpectedly.
One key secret to a successful relationship is compromise. Meeting halfway on things shows your partner that you really do care about their viewpoint and you are willing to work on making each other happy. Every so often make it a point to do something that you normally would not agree to or feel like doing. When you keep your partner constantly surprised by your actions, you regenerate that "new love" feeling time and time again. So, when your partner asks if you want to try that new restaurant…say yes! If they ask if you want to try a new hobby…say yes!

Show your loyalty.
Nothing strengthens a relationship quite like watching your partner go to bat for you, especially against close friends or family members. It shows that you consider your relationship a team. If you harass one member of a team, you harass them all. When you side with other people against your partner you make them feel alienated and the seeds of hidden resentment become planted. You can show loyalty positively as well by bragging about your partner's recent accomplishments to friends and family.

Be supportive.
Challenges and opportunities are always going to occur. You can't stop them from happening. Hopefully for both of you the changes in your lives are positive ones. The secret key here is having a supporting and understanding mate in your corner to help you through your ups and downs. If you lose your job, it's quite a bit easier to bounce back when you have someone who's willing to support your choices and any new directions you might want to branch out to. If you want a career or lifestyle change, imagine the difference having someone who will carefully consider and support those changes? When your partner is presenting you with a challenge or an opportunity, treat them the way you'd want to be treated.

Maintain a healthy dose of individuality.
Personal time and space are essential to growing individually. Everyone one needs private time to do the things they want to do. It helps refocus attention to the priorities. Sometimes you or your partner may just need time to release emotions from a bad day, instead of bringing it home with them. Learning to respect and notice when your partner needs some individual time shows that you are committed to not only your relationship, but their long-term happiness as well.

Love your partner.
Love is obviously a crucial element in a successful long-term relationship. But having love isn't enough. You need to be in love. The phrase "love is a verb, not a noun" certainly applies here. Don't hesitate to write that quick love note, give that deep kiss, sit next to each other at a restaurant or hold hands in public. The little things go a long way towards establishing a deep, intimate connection with your partner. As simple as it sounds, this action is probably the most commonly overlooked and ignored.

Got this article from Jennifer Good

One-Eyed Mom..

2009-02-04T09:27:00.000-08:00

note: it makes me so sad to read stories like this.. anyway.. still want to share this.. got this from my friend Jacqueline Yap

My mom only had one eye. I hated her... she was such an embarrassment. My mom ran a small shop at a flea market. She collected little weeds and such to sell... anything for the money we needed she was such an embarrassment. There was this one day during elementary school.
I remember that it was field day, and my mom came. I was so embarrassed.
How could she do this to me? I threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school..."Your mom only has one eye?!" and they taunted me.

I wished that my mom would just disappear from this world so I said to my mom, "Mom, why don't you have the other eye?! You're only going to make me a laughingstock. Why don't you just die?" My mom did not respond. I guess I felt a little bad, but at the same time, it felt good to think that I had said what I'd wanted to say all this time.

Maybe it was because my mom hadn't punished me, but I didn't think that I had hurt her feelings very badly.

That night...I woke up, and went to the kitchen to get a glass of water. My mom was crying there, so quietly, as if she was afraid that she might wake me. I took a look at her, and then turned away. Because of the thing I had said to her earlier, there was something pinching at me in the corner of my heart. Even so, I hated my mother who was crying out of her one eye. So I told myself that I would grow up and become successful, because I hated my one-eyed mom and our desperate poverty.

Then I studied really hard. I left my mother and came to Seoul and studied, and got accepted in the Seoul University with all the confidence I had. Then, I got married. I bought a house of my own. Then I had kids, too. Now I'm living happily as a successful man. I like it here because it's a place that doesn't remind me of my mom.

This happiness was getting bigger and bigger, when someone unexpected came to see me "What?! Who's this?!" ...It was my mother...Still with her one eye. It felt as if the whole sky was falling apart on me. My little girl ran away, scared of my mom's eye.

And I asked her, "Who are you? I don't know you!!!" as if I tried to make that real. I screamed at her "How dare you come to my house and scare my daughter! GET OUT OF HERE! NOW!!!" And to this, my mother quietly answered, "oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared. Thank good ness... she doesn't recognize me. I was quite relieved. I told myself that I wasn't going to care, or think about this for the rest of my life.

Then a wave of relief came upon me...one day, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house. I lied to my wife saying that I was going on a business trip. After the reunion, I went down to the old shack, that I used to call a house...just out of curiosity there, I found my mother fallen on the cold ground. But I did not shed a single tear. She had a piece of paper in her hand.... it was a letter to me.

She wrote:
My son...
I think my life has been long enough now. And... I won't visit Seoul anymore... but would it be too much to ask if I wanted you to come visit me once in a while? I miss you so much. And I was so glad when I heard you were coming for the reunion. But I decided not to go to the school.... For you... I'm sorry that I only have one eye, and I was an embarrassment for you.

You see, when you were very little, you got into an accident, and lost your eye. As a mother, I couldn't stand watching you having to grow up with only one eye... so I gave you mine...I was so proud of my son that was seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye. I was never upset at you for anything you did. The couple times that you were angry with me. I thought to myself, 'it's because he loves me.' I miss the times when you were still young around me.

I miss you so much. I love you. You mean the world to me.
My world shattered!!!

Then I cried for the person who lived for me... My Mother

Midori's latest Boards Signature

2009-01-28T09:52:00.000-08:00

this is my latest signature made by Bellatress...

this was the base image Bellatress used for the signature..

Enjoy.. hope you like it ...

my wallpaper

2009-01-02T22:32:00.000-08:00

a wallpaper made by ClanRogueWolf's hottest chick.. =p

Maybe.. ^_^x

2008-10-23T04:55:00.001-07:00

MAYBE
by: Secondhand Serenade

Didn't you want to hear
the sound of all the places we could go
Do you fear
the expressions on the faces we don't know
It's a cold hard road when you wake up
and I don't think that I
Have the strength to let you go

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

There goes my ring
It might as well have been shattered
and I'm here to sing
about the things that mattered
about the things that made us feel alive for oh so long
about the things that kept you on my side when I was wrong

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

And someday, I promise I'll be gone
And someday, I might even sing this song
To you, I might even sing this song, to you
and I was crying alone tonight
and I was wasting all of my life just thinking of you
So just come back we'll make it better
So Just come back I'll make it
better than it ever was x2

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place

Maybe it's just me, Couldn't you believe
that everything I said and did, wasn't just deceiving
And the tear in your eye, and your calm hard face
makes me wish that I was never brought into this place
( I want it all, Don't leave right now)
(I'll give you everything)

me.. me.. me.. ^_^x

2008-10-23T04:36:00.000-07:00

got nothing to do.. so i decided to take some pics inside our guild room.. ^_^x
i feel like an angel on that first pic.. LoL

enjoy.. ^^

2008-10-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

YOUR CALL
by: Secondhand Serenade

Waiting for your call, I'm sick, call I'm angry
Call I'm desperate for your voice
Listening to the song we used to sing
In the car, do you remember
Butterfly, Early Summer
It's playing on repeat, Just like when we would meet
Like when we would meet

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Stripped and pollished, I am new, I am fresh
I am feeling so ambitious, you and me, flesh to flesh
Cause every breath that you will take
When you are sitting next to me
Will bring life into my deepest hopes, What's your fantasy?
(What's your, what's your...)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

And I'm tired of being all alone, and this solitary moment makes me want to come back home
[X4]
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight

Cause I was born to tell you I love you
And I am torn to do what I have to, to make you mine
Stay with me tonight
(I know everything you wanted isn't anything you have)

7 things..

2008-10-20T11:42:00.000-07:00

7 things
by Miley Cyrus

I probably shouldn't say this, but at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous relationship we shared
It was awesome, but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care

And now we're standing in the rain,
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear, my dear
The 7 things I hate about you
The 7 things I hate about you
Oh, you

Your vain, your games, your insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks
When you act like them just know it hurts
I want to be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

It's awkward and silent as I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now is your sincere apology
When you mean it, I'll believe it
If you text it, I'll delete it, lets be clear

Oh, I'm not coming back
You're taking 7 steps here
The 7 things I hate about you

Your vain, your games, your insecure
You love me, you like her
You make me laugh, you make me cry
I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks
When you act like them just know it hurts
I want to be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

And compared to all the great things that would take to long to write
I probably should mention the 7 that I like
The 7 things I like about you

Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's
When we kiss I'm hypnotized
You make me laugh, you make me cry
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hands in mine
When we're intertwined everything's alright
I want to be with the one I know
And the 7th thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you

What Lady Midori means?

2008-08-02T11:41:00.001-07:00

What Lady Midori Means

You are relaxed, chill, and very likely to go with the flow.

You are light hearted and accepting. You don't get worked up easily.

Well adjusted and incredibly happy, many people wonder what your secret to life is.

You are usually the best at everything ... you strive for perfection.

You are confident, authoritative, and aggressive.

You have the classic "Type A" personality.

You are balanced, orderly, and organized. You like your ducks in a row.

You are powerful and competent, especially in the workplace.

People can see you as stubborn and headstrong. You definitely have a dominant personality.

You are a free spirit, and you resent anyone who tries to fence you in.

You are unpredictable, adventurous, and always a little surprising.

You may miss out by not settling down, but you're too busy having fun to care.

You are confident, self assured, and capable. You are not easily intimidated.

You master any and all skills easily. You don't have to work hard for what you want.

You make your life out to be exactly how you want it. And you'll knock down anyone who gets in your way!

You tend to be pretty tightly wound. It's easy to get you excited... which can be a good or bad thing.

You have a lot of enthusiasm, but it fades rather quickly. You don't stick with any one thing for very long.

You have the drive to accomplish a lot in a short amount of time. Your biggest problem is making sure you finish the projects you start.

You are well rounded, with a complete perspective on life.

You are solid and dependable. You are loyal, and people can count on you.

At times, you can be a bit too serious. You tend to put too much pressure on yourself.

You are wild, crazy, and a huge rebel. You're always up to something.

You have a ton of energy, and most people can't handle you. You're very intense.

You definitely are a handful, and you're likely to get in trouble. But your kind of trouble is a lot of fun.

What's Your Name's Hidden Meaning?

Bubbly by Colbie Caillat

2008-07-28T09:05:00.000-07:00

Will you count me in?

V1: I've been awake for a while now
you've got me feelin like a child now
cause every time I see your bubbly face
I get the tinglies in a silly place

C: It starts in my toes
and I crinkle my nose
where ever it goes I always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

V2: The rain is fallin on my window pane
but we are hidin in a safer place
under covers stayin dry *(safe) and warm
you give me feelins that I adore

C: It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

B: What am I gonna say
when you make me feel this way
I just........mmmmmm

C: It starts in my toes
make me crinkle my nose
where ever it goes
i always know
that you make me smile
please stay for a while now
just take your time
where ever you go

V3: I've been asleep for a while now
You tucked me in just like a child now
Cause every time you hold me in your arms
I'm comfortable enough to feel your warmth

C: It starts in my soul
And I lose all control
When you kiss my nose
The feelin shows
Cause you make me smile
Baby just take your time now
Holdin me tight

Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever, where ever, where ever you go
Where ever you go, I'll always know
Cause you make me smile here, just for a while

Birthday gift.. made by Bellatress of ClanRogueWolf.. ^^

2008-07-25T09:46:00.001-07:00

thanks to jp-kun for this.. ^_^x

Finally..Midori-chan reached level 50.. ^_^x

2008-07-25T07:30:00.001-07:00

7 Things by: Miley Cyrus

2008-07-25T07:25:00.000-07:00

I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so scared
When I think about the previous
Relationship we shared
It was awesome, but we lost it
It's not possible for me not to care
And now we're standing in the rain
But nothing's ever gonna change until you hear
My dear

The seven things I hate about you
The seven things I hate about you
Oh, you
You're vain
Your games
You're insecure
You love me, you like her
You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks, when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

It's awkward and silent
As I wait for you to say
What I need to hear now
Your sincere apology
When you mean it I'll believe it
If you text it I'll delete it
Let's be clear
Oh, I'm not comin back
You're taking seven steps here

The seven things I hate about you
You're vain
Your games
You're insecure
You love me, you like her
You made me laugh, you made me cry, I don't know which side to buy
Your friends, they're jerks, when you act like them, just know it hurts
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I hate the most that you do
You make me love you

And compared to all the great things
That would take too long to write
I probably should mention
The seven that I like

The seven things I like about you
Your hair
Your eyes
Your old Levi's
When we kiss, I'm hypnotized
You made me laugh, you made me cry, but I guess that's both I'll have to buy
Your hand in mine when we're intertwined, everything's alright
I wanna be with the one I know
And the seventh thing I like the most that you do
You make me love you

Lady Midori: The Soul Chandra

2008-06-06T23:41:00.001-07:00

Midori was one of the few who survived the Corite bombardment of the Bellato Medical Research Facility stationed in Ether. She was studying there as an intern to one of the most highly respected figures in medical research, Chief Researcher Deanneus. The loss of her beloved mentor broke her heart. Midori vowed to avenge the death of her mentor, and to continue the work that she has started.

Her wounds were treated aboard the Bellato rescue ship sent to Ether. She broke her left arm and had various burn wounds all over her body. Upon arrival at Bellato HQ, she was immediately sent to the hospital for further treatment. During her time at the hospital, she was visited by Deanne, a Sniper of the Bellato Federation 7th regiment, more importantly, the daughter of her mentor Deanneus. They became very good friends, bonded together by the terrible loss they both experienced. Midori made a fast recovery, and Deanne was there to accompany her on the day she was about to be discharged from the Medical facility.

As soon as they stepped out of the hospital Deanne asked Midori, "So Midori-chan, where do you wanna go now? I will be your guide today." Deanne flashed a smile and waited for Midori to give her response. Midori was staring blankly ahead of her as if in a trance. A few moments later, she turned to Deanne with a look of determination and conviction that caught Deanne off guard. "Take me to the Mystic Training Academy. I'm signing up to be a Soul Chandra."

Deanne being a soldier herself knew the trials and difficulties that all soldiers of the federation face every day. The war against Accretia and Cora showed no signs of slowing down. She didn't think Midori would be able to survive a day at the mines, she didn't think Midori had what it takes to be a soldier.

"D! Did you not hear me the first time? I want to be a Soul Chandra! Take me to the academy!"

There was a fire in Midori’s eyes that made it difficult for Deanne to say no. Deanne gathered herself,
"Ok ok. In that case, we'll stop by Eldon Carter first. C'mon let's go."

Eldon Carter is a very busy man. Currently he supervises the recruitment and training of the new soldiers of the Bellato Federation. He can be found giving out quests for the new soldiers of the federation, or giving promotions to those who have successfully graduated from the various training academies.

As Deanne and Midori arrived at Bellato Headquarters, they found Eldon Carter addressing a bunch of new recruits. He was briefing each one with regards to the class that they have initially chosen, and the various roles and jobs that they will be expected to take in the future. After giving them their respective weapons, he sent them off with their first quests as soldiers of the Bellato Federation.

“Sent them off to kill Flyms now didn’t you Commander Carter?” asked Deanne as she approached Eldon Carter and gave a salute.

Eldon Carter smiled as he turned to face Deanne and her companion, “Flyms provide no challenge at all for an experienced soldier like you Deanne, but it can be a daunting task for some of the new recruits.” Eyeing the girl that came with Deanne, Eldon Carter asked “So Deanne, have you brought me a new recruit?”

“That’s right commander. She is a good friend of mine, and was a survivor of the Ether bombardment tragedy. I came here to endorse her application as a future Soul Chandra of the Bellato Federation.”

“Soul Chandra eh? Not surprising considering who your mentor was. Very well! I will send word to the instructors at the Mystic Training Academy to make reservations for one more recruit.”

Right then, a loud voice brought the headquarters speakers to life. “Chip war starts in one hour! Our enemies are starting to assemble! Everyone proceed to BCC now!”

Deanne checked her watch, it was already 8 pm. Eldon Carter turned to look at Deanne and Midori, “Well then ladies, you two better gear up. War is upon us, whether you like it or not.”

Love, Life and everything in between

you're in-love w/ a human being

ClanRogueWolf's Portrait

Together by Ne-Yo

Nothing by FDM

2-Way Mirror..

New Interest.. *lol*

Handog ng Pilipino sa Mundo

For "Tita Cory"..

The Worst Way to Miss Someone

Am I a Fireman Yet?

UNCONDITIONAL

DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON? ♥

When the Soul Chandra and Sentinel met the Clan of the Rogue Wolves

Two funny videos I've watched today..

two freakin' hilarious videos.. rofl..

I miss you..

FAMILY

200 Thousand Words

A story of a Father's love, and an unfathomable circumstance and choice.

Wedding Day!! <3

Scoliosis

5 Secrets to Staying in Love

One-Eyed Mom..

Midori's latest Boards Signature

my wallpaper

Maybe.. ^_^x

me.. me.. me.. ^_^x

7 things..

What Lady Midori means?

Bubbly by Colbie Caillat

Birthday gift.. made by Bellatress of ClanRogueWolf.. ^^

Finally..Midori-chan reached level 50.. ^_^x

7 Things by: Miley Cyrus

Lady Midori: The Soul Chandra

New Interest.. lol